 Nov. 28th, 2010
Here you will find jokes of any kind to laugh about.
In case you know any good ones, please let me know 
Here are some german 
Contents
Bank robber
A bank robber pointing a gun at a cashier said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!" The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY." The burglar answered, "Don't change the subject."
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Black & White
A black man talks to a white man:
When I was born I was black,
When I grew up I was black,
When I'm sick I'm black,
When I go in the sun I'm black,
When I die I'll be black.
But you,
When you're born you're pink,
When you grow up you're white,
When you're sick, you're green,
When you go in the sun you turn red,
When you're cold you turn blue,
and when you die you turn purple.
And you have the nerve to call me colored!
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Dumb blond guy
A blond man frantically calls 911 and says, "Help...my wife has gone
into labor and her contractions are 10 minutes apart".
The 911 operator asks, "is this her first child?"
To which the blond replies, "Of course not, you idiot...this is her husband".
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Father
A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a
fortuneteller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went
inside and sat down.
"Ah....." said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you
are the father of two children."
"That's what you think," said the man scornfully. "I'm the father of
THREE children.".
The woman grinned and said, "That's what YOU think.
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No Hope
This woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards,
the doctor comes in, and he says,
"I have to tell you something about your baby."
The woman sits up in bed and says,
"What's wrong with my baby, Doctor?
What's wrong???" The doctor says,
"Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly,
but your baby is a little bit different.
Your baby is a hermaphrodite."
The woman says, "A hermaphrodite... what's that???"
The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has the...a... features... of a male and a female."
The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh my God!
You mean it has a penis... AND a brain?"
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One Womans Wish
One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared. "I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said. The man thought for a moment, then said, "I want a spectacular job -- a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try." "Poof!" said the genie. "You're a housewife."
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3 Wishes
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.
One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.
The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."
The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."
POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."
POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.
The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"
The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."
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Short Conversation between man and God
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says:
"So you would love her."
"But God," the man says," why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So
she would love you."
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Rooster
The minister had just finished an excellent chicken dinner at the home of a member of his congregation when he saw a rooster come strutting through the yard. "That's certainly a proud-looking rooster you have there," the minister commented. "Yes, sir," replied the farmer. "He has reason to be proud -- one of his sons just entered the ministry!"
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Spaghetti
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly after this
started, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave
the nurse a large sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the
baby there.
"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked.
He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back."
Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to
Italy. Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called
him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard
in the mail today and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor sighed and said, "Just wait until I get home and read it and
I will explain it to you."
Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack - and died.
So the wife picked up the cord and read, "Spaghetti, Spaghetti,
Spaghetti, Spaghetti - two with sausage and meatballs, two without."
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The Ugly son
There was a middle-aged couple who had two stunningly beautiful blonde
teen-aged daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they
always wanted. After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and,
sure enough, nine months later delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful
father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and
was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his
wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of that
child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered." Then he gave
her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?" The
wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time."
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World Smartest Woman
An airplane was about to crash, and there were 5 passengers left, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger, Bill Clinton said,"I am president of the United States, and I have a great responsibility, superpower, etc.", so he takes the first parachute, and jumps out of the plane.
The second passenger, said "I'm Antoine Walker, one
of the best NBA Basketball players, and the Boston Celtics need me, so I can't afford to die," so he takes the second parachute, and leaves the plane.
The third passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the wife of
the President of the United States, a soon to be New York Senator, and I am the smartest woman in the world," so she
takes the third parachute and exits the plane.
The fourth passenger, Pope John Paul the second, says to
the fifth passenger, a 10 year old boy scout, "I am old and
frail and I don't have many years left, so as a Christian gesture and good deed, I will sacrifice my life and let you
take the last parachute.
The boy scout said, "It's Ok, there's a parachute left for you. The world's smartest woman took my backpack."
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